A Child’s Call to Obedience & Honor

“Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. Honor your father and mother (this is the first commandment with a promise), that it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land.” – Ephesians 6:1-3

There is no virtue more fundamental to the Christian life than obedience. From the very beginning, obedience has been the dividing line between blessing and curse, life and death, communion and separation from God. It was disobedience that led to Adam and Eve’s expulsion from Eden. It was disobedience that hardened Pharaoh’s heart and brought judgment upon Egypt. It was disobedience that led Israel into exile. And it was Christ’s perfect obedience, even to the point of death on a cross, that became the means of our salvation.

It should not surprise us, then, that obedience is the first and foremost duty of children in the Lord. Before they can fully understand doctrine or theology, before they can grasp the deeper mysteries of faith, they are called to learn obedience. It is in the home, under the care and instruction of godly parents, that a child is taught what it means to submit to authority, and ultimately, to God Himself.

But Paul does not merely command children to obey, he calls them to honor their father and mother. Obedience may be a temporary command for childhood, but honor is a lifelong posture of the heart. This command, rooted in the Ten Commandments and reaffirmed by Christ Himself, is the first commandment with a promise. It is not only a moral obligation but a pathway to blessing, stability, and a flourishing life.

Yet, in a world that glorifies rebellion and undermines parental authority to a growing degree, how are we to uphold these truths? How do we teach obedience and honor in a way that reflects the heart of God?

The Foundation of a Child’s Spiritual Training
Paul’s command begins with a simple statement:

“Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right.”

The word “obey” in Greek (hupakouete) means more than just listening to commands, it implies active, willing submission. It is a conscious, deliberate act of placing oneself under authority. This is the same word used when Jesus calmed the storm, and the wind and waves “obeyed” Him (Mark 4:41). It is not a passive or reluctant compliance but a recognition of rightful authority.

For a child, obedience is the first great duty impressed upon their minds and hearts by God Himself. It is not merely a household rule, it is a command that reflects the very nature of God’s created order. To obey parents is to obey the Lord, for parental authority is an extension of God’s authority. A child who does not learn to obey his parents will struggle to obey teachers, employers, civil authorities, and most significantly, God Himself. Disobedience is not merely a household inconvenience, it is a spiritual danger that, if left unchecked, can lead to a lifetime of rebellion, moral confusion, and eventual ruin.

The welfare of the child depends on this principle. A child does not yet have the wisdom or experience to govern their own life. They lack the ability to discern danger, to make sound moral judgments, or to understand the long-term consequences of their actions. If they are not taught to submit to authority early, they will struggle under the weight of their own ungoverned will.

This is why Proverbs is filled with warnings about the dangers of disobedience:

“A fool despises his father’s instruction, but whoever heeds reproof is prudent.” – Prov.15:5

“The rod and reproof give wisdom, but a child left to himself brings shame to his mother.” – Prov. 29:15

The goal of parental discipline is not control for control’s sake but to train a child in wisdom, righteousness, and the fear of the Lord. Biblical obedience is about forming a heart that delights in submission to God.

Honor: A Lifelong Command with a Divine Promise
Paul follows the command to obey with a call to honor:

“Honor your father and mother (this is the first commandment with a promise), that it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land.”

Honor goes further. Obedience is the duty of childhood, but honor extends throughout life. While a grown child may no longer be under the authority of their parents, they never outgrow the command to honor them.

The word “honor” (tima) means more than just respect, it means to value highly, to prize, to hold in great esteem. It is a heart posture that recognizes the God-given role of parents and seeks to uphold their dignity, wisdom, and legacy. This command is not merely a moral obligation, it is a promise of blessing. When Paul says this is the first commandment with a promise, he is referencing Exodus 20:12, where God connects honoring parents with longevity and prosperity.

“Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long in the land that the Lord your God is giving you.” – Exodus 20:12

This does not mean that every obedient child will live to an old age, nor that every disobedient child will die young. Rather, it is a general principle of God’s moral order, when families function according to God’s design, societies flourish, relationships thrive, and righteousness is preserved. A society that rejects parental honor will quickly descend into chaos. When children are not taught to respect and obey their parents, they grow into adults who do not respect authority in any form. This is why disobedience to parents is listed as a sign of cultural and moral decline in the last days:

“For people will be lovers of self, lovers of money, proud, arrogant, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy…” – 2 Timothy 3:2

Restoring the Lost Virtue of Honor
We live in a time where the concept of honoring parents has been all but erased. Children are encouraged to question authority, challenge parental wisdom, and assert independence from an early age. Schools now even encourage them to dishonor their parents. But God’s design has not changed. Parents are still to be honored, not because they are perfect, but because God has placed them in a position of honor.

Honoring parents does not mean blindly obeying ungodly commands, nor does it mean overlooking serious abuse or sin. But it does mean upholding their God-given role, speaking of them with respect, caring for them in their old age, and carrying on their godly legacy in the good things they have taught.

It means teaching children that their obedience is not just about following household rules, it is about obeying the Lord. Honoring our parents, should be natural to us, due to the years of care for us and sacrifices made. However, if this is not enough, God Himself commands its. Honoring our parents, reinforces the truth that submission to authority is not weakness, but humility and meekness, a displayed strength, a reflection of Christ’s own obedience to the Father.

Paul’s words are not mere advice, they are God’s prescription for a flourishing home that leads to a flourishing church and inevitable leads to a flourishing society as we live as lights in an every darkening world. If we desire to see our families restored, our churches strengthened, and our society renewed, we must reclaim the biblical principles of obedience and honor. In doing so, we align ourselves with God’s will and receive the blessings of His promises in our homes and lives.

“I have no greater joy than to hear that my children are walking in the truth.” – 3 John 4